Princess, It's Cold Outside
by Lonestarr
Summary: Just what the hell does 'waves upon a tropical shore' mean in that context?


Disclaimer: Hearing this song at my job (in at least four different variations), I couldn't not turn it into a story.

The party had stretched well into the witching hour. The forecast called for six to ten inches of snow and wind gusts up to 88 kph. It showed no signs of letting up.

That didn't matter a whit to the people in the house. Geoff convinced his parents to let him throw a Christmas party and invite his fellow castmates over. Most of them managed to make it (the holdouts were Ezekiel, who was grounded and Justin, who was spending the season in Hawaii).

Cody, blitzed on egg nog, had been chasing girls around the party while wearing a mistletoe hat headband. Speaking of egg nog, most of the rest of the crowd was watching Owen chug two bottles of the stuff. The loud belch identified him as the victor.

On the far side of the room, Courtney checked her watch. 12:23 in the morning. She'd been staying with her family over the holidays. She didn't want them to worry. She'd debated herself on whether or not she even wanted to go to the party. Her mother had seen her weighing the options and urged her to go. In her words, "life is too short to wonder 'what if?'".

She rushed for the door.

Geoff picked up a microphone. "All right! Who's next for karaoke?"

Duncan noticed his on-again, off-again girlfriend bolting for the exit. Despite how crazy she drove him...he loved how crazy she drove him. He impeded her path.

"Heading out?"

Courtney pulled her coat on. "Not that it's any of your business, but yes."

"You have somewhere to be in the morning?"

She shook her head. "No."

"Then stay. I think there's some more egg nog for Owen to chug."

"I really can't stay." She reached for the doorknob.

He guided her hand away from it. "Princess, it's cold outside."

"I've got to go away." She turned away from him.

"Princess, it's cold outside."

"The party's been…"

He shrugged. "Was hopin' that you'd drop in."

"…really nice."

He motioned to the door. "Your hands out there'll freeze like ice."

"My mother will start to worry…"

He slipped her coat off. "Beautiful, what's your hurry?"

"My father will be pacing the floor."

"Party's gonna go on til four."

Courtney sighed. "So really I'd better scurry."

"Beautiful, please don't hurry." Duncan ran his fingers through her hair.

"Well, maybe another drink more."

"Put some music on while I pour." Duncan poured a cup of punch. He handed it to her.

"Some people might think…" Courtney took a sip.

"Princess, it's mean out there."

She choked up a little bit and looked at the cup. "Wait. What's in this drink?"

He shook his head, not really listening. "No roads to be seen out there."

"I wish I knew how..."

"Your eyes are like starlight now."

"...to get away."

"Come on. Just for me, try to stay."

"I should tell you no, no, no, sir."

"Mind if I move in closer?" He had done so before he even considered asking.

Courtney stepped back. "At least I'm gonna say that I tried."

"What's the point in hurting my pride?"

She opened the door. The sound of the door opening got the attention of the other partiers. Duncan closed it before she could get outside. "I really must go."

"Princess, it's cold outside."

"The answer is no."

"Princess, it's cold outside."

"The welcome has been…"

"So lucky that you dropped in."

"...so very warm."

"Look out the window at the storm."

"My sister will be suspicious."

"Your lips look so delicious."

"My brother will be there at the door." Courtney's brother was overprotective the same way it could be said that snow was cold.

"Nothing I haven't faced before."

"Mi abuelita's mind is vicious."

He kissed her suddenly, causing her to gasp. "Your lips are delicious."

"Maybe just a few minutes more."

"Never such a blizzard before."

"I could stay, maybe…"

"Baby, you'd freeze out there." He ran his hands down her arms.

She shook him off. "Don't call me baby!"

"It's up to your knees, out there." Duncan grabbed onto the doorknob, keeping her from turning it.

"You've been really grand." Courtney tried to turn the knob, but drew back at feeling Duncan.

"I love when you touch my hand."

"But don't you see?"

"How can you do this thing to me?"

Courtney nodded toward the others. "There's sure to be talk tomorrow."

"Think of my heartbreak and sorrow."

"At least, there'll be plenty implied."

"If you caught pneumonia and died."

"I really don't care if…"

"Get over your hold out."

"...it's cold outside", the two of them said together.

The crowd watched as the couple stared into each other's eyes. Suddenly, Courtney kneed Duncan in the crotch. He sank to the floor as the partygoers murmured amongst themselves.

DJ and Geoff helped Duncan to his feet. "Sorry about that. You all right?"

"Never felt better", he replied in a strained voice.

Beth gave a confused look. "Did that sound like a song to anyone else?"

* * *

><p>Courtney slammed the car door and started the engine. She shook her head. The nerve of that Duncan! Trying to keep her there and thinking of doing Lord-knows-what…<p>

As she pulled her car into traffic, she pursed her lips. They were still tingling.

She smiled a little. Okay, so that kiss felt pretty nice.

A/N: Yeah, I re-wrote the song a little, but it was a necessary evil; could _you_ imagine Duncan saying words like 'gosh' and 'swell'? Still, it's not as bad as some of the covers of "Winter Wonderland" and "Santa Baby" I've heard quite recently.

Well, thanks for doing whatever you do to show that you like this story and happy holidays.


End file.
